" HAIL, KING MAITE!

I COME TO YOU FROM FAR AWAY LANDS TO SHARE WITH YOU MY TREMENDOUS TALENTS,

I HAVE REACHED CLASS RANK #1,

AND HAVE DRUNK A GLASS OF MILK IN 4 SECONDS.

I HAVE A WHITE CARD, AND HAVE ALSO WATCHED TV FOR 24 HOURS STRAIGHT.

I HAVE WON THE HILLIARD OPEN TENNIS TOURNAMENT,

AND I HAVE WON MONOPOLY 6 TIMES IN A ROW.

MY PEOPLE SAY I AM INTELLIGENT,

AND HAVE WITNESSED ME PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY.

AND HAVE ALSO SEEN ME DISPLAY MY SPEED,

WHEN I KILLED A FLY WITH MY BARE HANDS.

MY STRENGTH WAS ALSO DISPLAYED,

WHEN I CRUSHED A POP CAN ON MY FOREHEAD.

I NEVER GIVE UP,

IVE HELD MY BREATH FOR A WHOLE 2 MINUTES.

I AM DETERMINED AND WILL ALWAYS GET THE JOB DOWN,

I'VE NEVER FORGOTTEN TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

I'M HERE TO HELP AND HOPE YOU WILL ACCEPT THE TALENTS I BRING TO YOUR GREAT LAND."